I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
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FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?