you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Send us your Text From Last Night!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.