I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Send us your Text From Last Night!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i robbed the continental breakfast last night