I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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