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    (717): View more from Pennsylvania

    Whoa Z and x make the same sound

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    Replies (30) Good night (3369) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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    (917): View more from New York City

    I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.

    (518): View more from New York

    Huh?

    (917): View more from New York City

    I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.

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    Replies (33) Good night (623) Bad night (3874)
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    (440): View more from Ohio

    Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?

    (1-440): View more from Ohio

    because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?

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    Replies (20) Good night (5211) Bad night (430)
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    (206): View more from Washington

    I thought spray tan was a myth

    (1-206): View more from Washington

    ?

    (206): View more from Washington

    You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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    Replies (48) Good night (2601) Bad night (521)
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    (714): View more from California

    my room smells like sperm. sweet.

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    Replies (14) Good night (879) Bad night (2474) Order T-Shirt
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    (502): View more from Kentucky

    Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.

    (973): View more from New Jersey

    I'm moving there. Get me hired.

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    Replies (39) Good night (5531) Bad night (636)
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    (508): View more from Massachusetts

    Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby

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    Replies (5) Good night (640) Bad night (2666) Order T-Shirt
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    (250): View more from British Columbia

    Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?

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    Replies (41) Good night (831) Bad night (3265) Order T-Shirt
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    (678): View more from Georgia

    What are you drinking?

    (404): View more from Georgia

    Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL

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    Replies (54) Good night (1459) Bad night (2513)
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    (205): View more from Alabama

    woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

    (1-205): View more from Alabama

    yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

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    Replies (62) Good night (10447) Bad night (675)
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    (904): View more from Florida

    im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!

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    Replies (50) Good night (3166) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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    (512): View more from Texas

    Did yall have sex?

    (214): View more from Texas

    Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?

    (512): View more from Texas

    Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen

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    Replies (27) Good night (3671) Bad night (697)
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    (403): View more from Alberta, CA

    are you so shy because you have an std?

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    Replies (8) Good night (461) Bad night (3156) Order T-Shirt
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    (443): View more from Maryland

    and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

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    Replies (8) Good night (4064) Bad night (588)
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    (503): View more from Oregon

    Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.

    (360): View more from Washington

    im coming over.

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    Replies (8) Good night (3541) Bad night (438)
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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