thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
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nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
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I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.