Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze