I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
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Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.