The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right