I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.