Texts From Last Night

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(224): View more from Illinois

I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.

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(224): I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home. http://tfl.nu/0j8i

Replies (22) Good night (6060) Bad night (638)
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(303): View more from Colorado

i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

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(303): i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris' http://tfl.nu/lstf

Replies (17) Good night (5239) Bad night (508)
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(516): View more from New York

The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.

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(516): The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids. http://tfl.nu/z0hh

Replies (29) Good night (4426) Bad night (693)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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(503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v

Replies (42) Good night (6040) Bad night (944)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely

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(423): Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely http://tfl.nu/wliv

Replies (37) Good night (531) Bad night (4127)
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(478): View more from Georgia

you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

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(478): you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/9omq

Replies (12) Good night (6703) Bad night (587)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.

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(507): I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it. http://tfl.nu/rt4x

Replies (7) Good night (3638) Bad night (731)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles

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(412): i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles http://tfl.nu/39eh

Replies (19) Good night (4326) Bad night (535)
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(630): View more from Illinois

week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.

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(630): week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl. http://tfl.nu/1sz9

Replies (37) Good night (4564) Bad night (732)
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(817): View more from Texas

I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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(817): I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that. http://tfl.nu/nbo5

Replies (27) Good night (830) Bad night (5538)
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(330): View more from Ohio

if i died would you start the facebook group?

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(330): if i died would you start the facebook group? http://tfl.nu/beoo

Replies (27) Good night (4351) Bad night (1115)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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(513): I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties. http://tfl.nu/yluk

Replies (7) Good night (3850) Bad night (594)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.

(303): View more from Colorado

Some perfection is debatable.

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(720): Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday. (303): Some perfection is debatable. http://tfl.nu/oliz

Replies (32) Good night (4093) Bad night (619)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.

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(204): Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding. http://tfl.nu/e8lb

Replies (19) Good night (1005) Bad night (5814)
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(760): View more from California

We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.

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(760): We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends. http://tfl.nu/k3i4

Replies (53) Good night (4791) Bad night (861)

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