So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."