hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?