He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
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Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.