At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.