Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
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FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party