I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?