Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.