They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.