I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'