He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.