Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Houston, we have a blender
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.