He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone