Texts From Last Night

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(914): View more from New York

I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...

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(914): I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad... http://tfl.nu/rc76

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(806): View more from Texas

How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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(806): How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her? http://tfl.nu/a3s8

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(440): View more from Ohio

made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.

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(440): made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is. http://tfl.nu/etmn

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(214): View more from Texas

i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.

(1-214): View more from Texas

oh fuck your right

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(214): i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can. (1-214): oh fuck your right http://tfl.nu/6rmf

Replies (21) Good night (4220) Bad night (617)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home

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(919): Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home http://tfl.nu/42nr

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(812): View more from Indiana

At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote

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(812): At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote http://tfl.nu/x0fb

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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(847): I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it" http://tfl.nu/8m3i

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(816): View more from Missouri

i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

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(816): i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants http://tfl.nu/4te8

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(515): View more from Iowa

How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away

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(515): How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away<? http://tfl.nu/gea4

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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(248): I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis http://tfl.nu/utf8

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod

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(256): I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod http://tfl.nu/7c05

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(214): View more from Texas

I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.

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(214): I wish you were here to vomit in your hand. http://tfl.nu/my7z

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(253): View more from Washington

dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool

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(253): dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool http://tfl.nu/jdq1

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(954): View more from Florida

What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?

(904): View more from Florida

Both

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(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you? (904): Both http://tfl.nu/7q6w

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(559): View more from California

Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.

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(559): Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/zft1

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