Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.