If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.