Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them