He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
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#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
We left an ass print on the piano.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"