seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...