He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Send us your Text From Last Night!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u