please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.