Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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