stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
