How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.