It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.