ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics