He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
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the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers