Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"