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1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
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