Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
God gave him joint rollers for hands