he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.