I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?