the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor