I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Send us your Text From Last Night!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me