Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
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I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing