On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.