he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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