we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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