So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.