OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.