I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.