everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
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I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
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how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah