I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"