Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.