Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.