I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap