Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits