I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.