Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep