dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
