I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty