My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I am in a vortex of obligation.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone