Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?