I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think about you every night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm