i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Your face is a jimmy john
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.