I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Your face is a jimmy john
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
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We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.