Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
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you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.