I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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