We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
oh god the rape fog is back!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.