ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
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I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your face is a jimmy john
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
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i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.