Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.

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  (240): He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at. http://tfl.nu/i197
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong

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  (215): candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong http://tfl.nu/hvis
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?

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  (215): I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months? http://tfl.nu/2j7i
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.

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  (803): if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market. http://tfl.nu/j5i5
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor

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  (604): I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/wqmd
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  so then she threw up in his asshole

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  yep..that'll do it.

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  (231): so then she threw up in his asshole (1-231): yep..that'll do it. http://tfl.nu/f3qy
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.

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  (215): Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend. http://tfl.nu/kqgl
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.

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  (303): I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day. http://tfl.nu/g7z2
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.

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  (604): And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life. http://tfl.nu/s6zp
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.

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  (757): So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied. http://tfl.nu/fpwe
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.

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  (763): My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching. http://tfl.nu/0wz9
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  there is no way he can be that small

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  look on the bright side he'll over comepensate

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  (419): there is no way he can be that small (1-419): look on the bright side he'll over comepensate http://tfl.nu/8mfj
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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  (515): Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day http://tfl.nu/z36i
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.

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  (253): Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad. http://tfl.nu/4hs3
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.

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  (732): Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish. http://tfl.nu/b0yx
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