He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your face is a jimmy john
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft