Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
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not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.