Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.