I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
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Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your face is a jimmy john
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
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Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.