Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator