Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.