It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?