Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill

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  (913): Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill http://tfl.nu/swr0
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss

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  (506): i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss http://tfl.nu/l8g6
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.

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  (973): as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage. http://tfl.nu/z7ah
  Replies (10) Good night (546) Bad night (2702) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees

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  (208): dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees http://tfl.nu/cqup
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.

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  (516): Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses. http://tfl.nu/khuc
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over

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  (610): first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over http://tfl.nu/fqcy
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I didn't shave. On purpose

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  (704): I didn't shave. On purpose http://tfl.nu/ll6a
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm

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  (386): Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm http://tfl.nu/fmji
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  (+33): View more from France

  And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".

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  (+33): And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?". http://tfl.nu/no4p
  Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  goodnight i made you a song goodbye

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  (518): goodnight i made you a song goodbye http://tfl.nu/zq8r
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know

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  (727): You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know http://tfl.nu/dtxn
  Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (161)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!

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  (214): I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made! http://tfl.nu/rkm5
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  (917): View more from New York City

  idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now

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  (917): idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now http://tfl.nu/ruxc
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  (718): View more from New York

  With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

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  (718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.

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  (785): I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name. http://tfl.nu/h5ua
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