I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.