she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
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He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
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seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"