That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.