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ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
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