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so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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