I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
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Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
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We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.