We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
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I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.