That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
