Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.