She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.