Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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