Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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