How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You were trust falling into bushes
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
