You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
