The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere